I love turning the calendar to a fresh new page. Nothing but a few scribbles on the new page of January. It is such a nice feeling to start not only a new month, but a new year. It's almost overwhelming to flip through last year's calendar and wonder if this year's will fill up just as quickly and go by just as fast. But for now, I'm basking in the fact that we're only 2 days into January and so far, nothing major adorns our calendar. It's fun to start talking about vacations we want to take this year and people we want to be sure and see, but it's also a reminder of all the failed attempts we made at the same things last year. How can we not let life "get in the way" of all those things our hearts really desire to do this year?
We had dinner with some very dear friends before Christmas and they asked us, "what can we do for you in this new year to best help you?" It's a loaded question and one you would think you could rattle off multiple answers to. But my mind and heart were quickly reminded about how "unplanned" life is. If the same question had been posed to me last year, I wouldn't have answered it appropriately because nothing could have prepared us for what our lives were going to hold last year. So I hesitated to answer it this year knowing that we just can't know how we're going to need help this year.
Our biggest story of the year was definitely Anna. Last January began with a bang. After all being sick over Christmas, Anna found herself facing another illness in late January which hospitalized her for 4 days. The pattern seemed to continue with a new illness every 3 weeks. Just as Spring set in and we thought the illnesses were behind us we noticed that she had some nasal regurgitation when drinking liquid. An appointment in August confirmed a submucous cleft palate and quickly led to a startling diagnosis for Anna. In September Anna was diagnosed with Velo Cardio Facial Syndrome which occurs when there is a deletion on the 22nd chromosome. From September to December we must have visited the doctor's office at least twice a week. That liitle girl has been poked more times than I have my whole life and she hardly ever cries about it. She has no idea all that she has gone through this year, I do believe mommy has carried most of the burden.
Over the last 4 months Anna and I have bonded in a very special way. She became my best friend because we went everywhere together, did therapy together 3 times a week, stayed home an awful lot together, and I poured my heart into her. She has opened up a new part of my heart. She has taught me how to completely and selflessly love someone. I had to give up a lot of things I once found to be so important, to protect her and do what was best for her, and I got so much in return. As a mom I have grown this year, as a woman I have changed and reprioritized, and as a child of God I have gone deeper into an understanding of God's love for me. My faith has been tested once again and I'd like to think it's been strengthened.
So as we turn the page to a new month and year, I rejoice that the only doctor's appt. on the calendar is for Megan. I don't know if this will be a "quiet" year, I'd like to think we're due one, or if it will be another trying year. But I do know the Lord is teaching me to take every day one day at a time. He hasn't forgotten us, He knows what He's doing and at the end of 2010, I'll hopefully be able to see a glimpse of His bigger picture, just as I can now looking back at 2009!
Ready or Not!
5 years ago