Thursday, March 25, 2010

Highs and Lows

I think over the past year I have been on the craziest roller coaster I have ever ridden. Life with children seems to be a series of highs and lows and I feel like I'm rarely on a steady stretch of straight, wide open track. I want to go back to the kiddie coasters. We have finally ascended through the thick of Megan's colic and all are so much happier. Anna is recovering from her latest cold, but she really hasn't been too sick this winter. And Erin, well she is just easy, never a problem, rarely anything going on with her.

On Monday we had a high! Megan decided nursing would be okay with her again so I was able to resume with that. Anna also had her yearly retest with the Speech Therapist and her progress is so much better than I realized. She averages around 28 months in most categories, Expressive Speech being her weakest area, but definitely improving. I was so happy on Monday, I felt confidant in my ability to parent 3 children and overall like some of the weights were being lifted.

On Tuesday we had a low. What I assumed would be an easy trip to the Opthamologist for Anna to prove that her vision was perfect, turned out to be the beginning of another journey. Anna's eye exam showed that she has small optical nerves, a curvature of the eye issue and strabismus. Don't ask me what all that means because I couldn't understand it, didn't want to hear it and don't want to think about it. For now it means Anna has to have an MRI so the rest of the eye and brain can be viewed. That should answer questions about the first 2 issues. For the strabismus, drifting of the eyes, she has to wear a patch for 2 hours each day, alternating eyes each day. This should go on for 3 months and then hopefully they will be able to see which eye is stronger and how to correct it.

SIGH....I won't pretend that I was strong. I have learned how to hold it in at the doctor's office. I've learned not to ask too many questions because they will just tell me....let's just wait and see what the next test shows. I've learned to take a day to process the information, cry, and then find the positives and move on the next day. I can't tell you that I haven't felt discouraged this week. I know Anna has the potential to have so many issues and we have been so blessed at the easy correction of many of them already. Days like Tuesday just remind me how long our road with Anna is going to be. I'm sad for her even though she doesn't realize half of what's happened to her. It's difficult to watch your children struggle, but I know it's building character. I can keep my mind on the fact that God has a big plan walking around in that little 2 year old body.

Please pray for us over the next week. The MRI isn't scheduled yet, but I expect it to be within a couple of weeks. I'm having a hard time with the patch. We're calling it her eye booboo and she seems to be fine with it and hasn't tried to take it off today. God is good and I know this low will go into a high very soon, it's just the ride we're on.

In true Anna fashion, nothing phases her. She played outside with out even thinking twice about the patch. It's Mommy that's having a hard time.