Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Just from the Heart!

I had every intention of catching up on some blogging today and neither computer is cooperating. Our memory stick drive isn't loading and the laptop won't connect to the internet. So I have some beautiful pictures of the three little ones that will just have to wait another day. Therefore, since I find myself with a few quiet moments, I'll just do a heart update!

Everything is pretty normal right now. Megan is falling into a good routine and is extremely joyful during the day. She is showing us glimpses that she may soon be sleeping through the night. phew.... I love this stage of a baby's life. Everyday is exciting to them. They are constantly learning new tricks. I keep her baby calendar out on the dining room table so I don't forget to write things down. She is so smiley, and after all the tears she started with, it is such a welcome sight.

Erin is almost done with Kindergarten and I just can't believe it. I've saved all of her papers from the year in folders and now I know with the end of the year approaching I need to have a plan for what I'm going to do with all of them. I don't know how to weed through them all and what to keep and what to let go. I am surprised at myself and how "hands-off" I've been with Kindergarten this year. I guess all the other circumstances didn't allow for me to be super involved. She is brilliant I must say and continues to amaze me with her artistic creations.

And then there's Anna, whose vocabulary is increasing daily. She is uttering 2 word phrases and will repeat just about anything we tell her to. She really has shown great improvement in her acquistion of words, her difficulty still lies in articulation. She'll continue speech therapy 2x a week through the summer and then we'll have a plan in place for the school year. We have enrolled her in Atlantic Shores where she'll attend preschool 3 days a week and receive speech therapy. The public school system will also give her speech, we just don't know how frequently yet. I struggle to know if she can handle preschool, but we feel it will be to her benefit to try.

Anna continues to be my "walk of faith" as one friend described her. I have to daily choose not to worry about her and the future. I simply struggle with not letting her disorder define her, yet not being in denial that she is going to be different. I joined a facebook group for Velocardiofacial syndrome, and while it is encouraging to meet people who have this disorder or have children with it, it is also very overwhelming. There is no one set picture of this disorder and it's scary not knowing where Anna will fall on the spectrum. I also struggle with how to pray. I don't know whether to ask God to take it away completely, or to just not make it too bad, or to just let me have it and give me the strength to get through it. I truly believe God could heal her, completely repair the 22nd chromosome, but at the same time, I don't think that is His plan. I guess we'll just continue to take it one day at a time while He unfolds her life.

I know that I don't even know some of you that are reading these posts, or don't know you very well. And I also know that some of the people that are closest to me are reading this as well. Whoever you are and wherever you are, I hope that you will understand my need to write these things out and just share my heart sometimes. I love to write and sometimes just putting thoughts down help me work through them. I don't think my lessons from Anna will ever be complete and so you may often hear repeating struggles. I hope you can see that it is me being very transparent and allowing you to share in my journey, victories and defeats, hopefully, more victories! To God be the glory - He is Mighty to Save - He can move the mountains!